Yes I was a coward hiding under the faults of others
Yes I was a coward only acting in my imaginative world and complying to others in real world
Yes I was a coward for never developing my own thoughts
Yes I was a coward for placing peoples acceptance and needs before mine
Yes I was a coward for depending on others
Hopefully not anymore
Once you see the right path you know it
Once you are happy in your own thoughts
Once you accept that we are all humans made equal
Once you understand that there is no ultimate truth
Once you stop thinking of others greatly and believing everything they say because of their authority
Once you start questioning the system with true intentions
Is when you are free of the cage YOU have been putting yourself in
After all, once pharaon was questioned why he made himself a god he replied: No one opposed me so I benfitted from the opportunity
If you ever think that you cannot control your life decisions or that you cannot make your own decisions, it is because you have made yourself believe this lie because you are comfortable where you are and you want to escape blame and questioning. Wake up!
Judge yourself before you judge others. When you find that you are giving excuses for yourself stop and start change.
In my case, my imagination fixes whatever problem I go through. That is wrong because I do not hold myself responsible for my actions, and I avoid doing actions on my own in the first place. This is cowardness.
After all, maybe we are knocking on the wrong doors on purpose, in order to get wrong answers that will keep us in our comfort zones.
Dear God, I address this message to you, please help me find the answer. It is true that we do not know any of the details and it is all a part of a bigger plan that we do not know anything about, and only you can control this mighty universe that you created, but please guide my way because I am so weak right now.
You created us, each with the desire to be achieving individuals and be the best. However, all we want is our self benefit. We claim to want the good for others while we are creatures who envy others, and hate others and compete with each other. In our trials to achieve greatness, we may destroy relations or people who care, we act in ways we do not mean. We are afraid of our true feelings. We cannot express our true emotions. Dominance and submission is the norm in our world even though we are all created equal. Why do some people choose submission in order not to upset others and keep their company.
What about religion, what about those who hide under its name thinking they are better than others because they do acts without thinking, without understanding them. And at every chance, they try to mend religion to their advantage. Yet they think they are righteous.
I, myself, am trying to achieve greatness, but am lost in the way. Please God guide my way, no one has the answers but you.
We attract, based on our acts, personalities that will live with us and stay with us.
“Matt Simons – Catch & Release (Deepend remix)”
This song is really good by Matt Simons, it perfectly displays my current feelings.
What happens if you were a professional boxer, and trained everyday in your life for the past twenty two years in order to get a living, and fame, and start your life with your boxing skill. The competition is in one month, and you start practicing more and more. But suddenly, you wake up one day, realizing your technique is different from everyone else. That your technique worked before but now it does not anymore. The worst thing is you can not figure out what’s wrong with your style as it is engrained in you. You try to learn new styles, and copy others only to see yourself going back to your old technique by instinct and failing miserably. Fear and shame will follow you around. But why? What is wrong with your technique? Why is it failing you now? Why did you develop it then? Why can’t you change it? Is what you are doing now affecting your motherfucking belief system.
Well, I have almost the same issue, with boxing being the way I think. I am always thinking about improving myself ALWAYS. But then I realize I am copying others and stop. Only to realize I am weak and never make a decision on my own. How the fuck can you solve a mental problem. If your brain is the one causing these thoughts, and he have been happy with them for the past years how could you tell him to change them. Why am I so sure I need to change. Why am I making my life hell only to nag about it later. How can I shush my brain. How can I have self confidence. What is my goal in life. Why does depression seem like the answer. Why do I nag then go back to the same old loser. How can I solve it if it caused by my brain and the solution is developed in that same brain. Why is there a problem in the first place. Why do I love acting like a weirdo.