Tell me what you are doing now, you will understand why you reached your future state. Take me for example, I keep nagging about how I am not independent while I actually never take the initiative to do things on my own. I keep on thinking, which ends up in me getting depression, which ends up in me getting help. So I am actually doing the opposite now.
Just like a fat person whose knees are becoming weak. He cannot do sports because of his excess weight, and on the other hand if he does not do sports he will remain fat. That is the paradox of the problems. We have to get out of our comfort zone to reach what we want. But the question is do we really want change.