I am well aware of it
It is that constant motherfucking sound in my head that analyzes every fucking activity I do, every fucking individual I meet, creates unexisiting scenarios in my head.
Man I am tired of this voice, trying to make me the perfect man, I want to break free. There is no perfect man. Whatever you do, it will please few people and annoy others, so why care. The problem is I listen a lot and analyze. I am afraid of falling into a mistake that the others do and that my parents and sibing criticize. What is perfect. What should I do.
I have been brought up on the basis of helping others constantly and feed off their happiness. Well the fucked up thing is it doesn’t help no more. I should quit this thought. Everyone has their own problem, and I am here analyzing the problems of others afraid of falling into one of theirs. My thoughts are all over the place.
I should stop thinking about stuff that I am not doing, I should stop this imaginary world. Although this fucked up world was upgraded by my brain over the years, to feel shame in order to achieve more and to please others without thinking, it gives me the ability to forget my fears at the right moment and become a superhuman, it helps me analyze any problem once I set my mind to it.
Fuck fuck FUCK FUCK KESS EKHET AYRI B ZABRE
EVEN THIS THOUGHT IS A RESULT OF MY FUCKING IMAGINATION. I AM UNDER THE ILLSUION OF FIGHTING FOR 22 FUCKING YEARS NOW. I AM ADDICTED TO DEPRESSION AND IMAGINATION. AND THE CURE LIES IN MY HEAD. AM I CRAZY OR STUPID?