How to change your basic defense mechanism

I guess it is my body’s defense mechanism when I get scared to drift to an imaginary world and start to imagine happy things until the offender gets bored or someone else comes and helps me. I think it goes back to when my older brother used to beat me as a kid. But why the fuck did I develop this defense mechanism. Why the fuck didn’t I fight back. Why the fuck am I still this way. Why am I still fucking afraid of my older brother. Is it something in my genes or in my engraved character. 

All brothers have fights, why the fuck did I not fight back. What is this fucking mental torture of living in an imaginary world.

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